Night After the Rain.

Today it rains at night. KL is still beautiful with all the streets turning on the lights when it rains and at night. I just love the whole scenery together.
I think this is the longest period that I haven't post anything. Things just gets in a way with my busy life and I have so little or no time for writing. Much of it were written halfway or scrapped. Sorry.

And I just stared outside the window, thinking where does my path of life goes? What should I do? I kept myself silent, while pressing and massaging my left middle finger that I broke during football, playing as a goalkeeper.

My friend came to me and told how afraid they are during an exam which requires them to talk. I told them what to do and what to say, somewhat like tips that even I myself wouldn't knew whether it would work to them. It was based on my experiences.

"Giving up before a fight starts is worse than getting a failure."

That was the worse feeling of myself I told them. Though I did not told how I gave up my childhood dreams. If I had known it was that hard, I'd already set something I loved since I was a kid. When they left in the end, I asked myself how did I made my day pretty well?

Forgetting about how hard was for someone who doesn't suit himself well things that require calculations, I constantly remind myself how did I find my way in the middle of the jungle back then by my own. If I survive that, why can't I do this? Though sometimes I lied to myself to cheer up and go on with life, facing facts and truths are one of the things that sometimes hurt you. It is the truth that many people broke down to sadness. And it is up to the person on how should they live up their again and carry on.

It's hard convincing someone who was weak and there was very little thing that you can do to help them. And the most hardest was yourself. Because you are fighting your very own enemy that exists inside you; your weakness. Luckily they did well, they were happy. But again, the reflection was towards me. Could I make my weakness, as my strength? I wonder.

They were probably really happy. Really happy. But what about me?

I saw my friend whom just had broken heart from their lover. I told them they shouldn't feel too bad. They were longing for their lover to a point nothing could be made. Probably they had relied on their lover to live on so much far to this.
Did they try to live on their own, I do not know. Should they be sad for that reason, I do not know too. It was a very long time for me, being single. Not because I'm weird or what. I just feel that I'm not much successful yet. "I'll become a stronger man", that's what I believe. It's a source of pride and honor. It's a principle. Looking at your friends who are sad, makes you think and sad too.

But should you know that love is more than just texting and replying "I love you", this is your youth life only. It's happy. It's painful. It's cherishing. It's saddening.

What more can you say, if you did not have anything to talk about? I don't know. Being quiet is good because you can hear things in and out, your weakness and etc. Being too quiet is the otherwise, you'll become voiceless. No one reaches any further.

The world shouldn't be a sad place. There's always a place for happiness. A joy of living, with constantly believing yourself in everything you do. I had always missed those kinds of chances, to mend yourself. I wonder if there could really be a place for me, in this world. To become what I dreamed of.

Who knew, for what tomorrow could be.
Remember to make your youth life, something that you would cherish in the future. Not regrets.

Asyraf Amir. 20121109.