Chance.

Somehow. I kept on reminding myself, I was never alone in the first place. Somewhat, you kinda remember back the past and things that happened before when you were a high-school student. Some wish, they would go back and do what they really want to do. Erase all their mistakes and replace it with a better one. But it was different for me. Doing that would mean you've regretted what you've done. I would go for if anyone brought me to my past. 

If it ever existed, but that wouldn't happen in real life. I realized that. I realized and learned even more when I went to RMC. It was no going back. There was no turning back at all. I realized everything, now it has been 2 years and 4 months, 28 months to be exact. I don't like to cling onto my past, because it was so bitter. I think I understood it now fully of what to do, there was no one to blame and now comes myself to stand up.

Somehow. Its kinda sad to hear on Facebook/Twitter or anywhere in your life when back then they supported you and cheered you up not to give up. And only now you see they were showing signs of giving up. You once knew they were stronger, perhaps much brighter in terms of IQ or probably better than you. Yet they fall back. Friends, family or anyone.

So, what was exactly that they did tell me back then? Weren't they were cheering on you when you had bad times? It kinda sounded like you're sitting on a riverside or the beach, throwing rocks into the water because things don't sound and seem so smooth.

Yeah, I'm really doing it, sitting on a bench and throwing rocks in a park. Seeing KLCC from far. So what?

But there's one thing I wanted to tell, it sucks to know the door in front of you shuts, when there was a chance and you let it go giving up. 

To tell you something, dreams and opportunity are two different things. If you don't have opportunity you can't make it to your dreams. If you don't have dreams you won't have the opportunity to make it. It only takes one person to know their limits and worries, where they would end up. Its like putting someone on a treadmill, its not how fast or when the person will fall while running. It about when the person falls down and give up.

And it's depressing to see your friends are just there to approach their dreams, the similar dreams that you have and they fall back. So it's like, what the fuck are you doing? 

I never have the chance like that. I was never bright or shine like everyone else. But I never gave up on what I dream of to become a pilot. If I can't become a pilot, I'll become someone who defends the justice by being a lawyer. If I can't become a lawyer, I'll become someone who administrates a government or a business. If I can't become all of those above, I'll start from the sentence "If I can't become a pilot." And so what if I hated calculations while pilot needs that area the most? I would give you the most accurate answer. 

That's because I never believed that someone could fail forever. It just takes time for them to shine. I have never looked those whom are weaker than me, or be afraid of someone far superior than me. I too, have dreams, and I kept on dreaming.

I worry to like everyone else. I have fears too like everyone else. And I too fall and tremble from my past and thinking where would I end up. But men should not cry and he shall kept on believing. That's what I at least, believe. Before giving up something. 

Everyone have gone through a road called sad road, on the way to their dreams. But on that road you're going through, keep going and follow through on that road. Don't make excuses you can't do it. 

Perhaps you should be thinking you're probably luckier than anyone else.

Did you know why people become stronger? Its because their instinct. They wanted to become stronger. They work hard. Pray and hope. And God allows them to do so. Why could a mere human like could become a leader/prime minister and lead us? It's because he's more powerful and the people gave trust to him, the power, they believe he could do it. 

Same thing to us. Why didn't we want to end up on the lowest level of society? It's because we wanted to become a person, someone who could make proud of their family, friends and country. Everything they love.

I wished I could have write something more fun or happy. It's just that I couldn't there was nothing to write. Hope everyone is inspired and happy. Good luck for interviews and everything.

I'll show you nothing is impossible, old man. I'll make you proud.

Asyraf Amir. 20120412.