Strength.

Perseverance is strength.

If there's anyone whom had a perseverance, he has strength. No matter how strong you are, nor how good you are dealing with problems, if you don't have it, you will be far from being called a person who succeeds.
Even if you die with perseverance inside you, you will have honor.

"We thought we are right most of the times. We weren't."  my first sister said that. I was obviously shunned after hearing it. As if a soldier who have fought and met countless of enemies, now he saw himself in shame. In defeat.

Here I am. Writing this down, after I felt like a ship without a compass. But I feel there is hope somewhere outside myself. I accept what I got for my results, it was good enough. It wasn't straight As, but I was indeed grateful. But I ask myself where will I end up studying in and what will I do later on. I was drowned in doubts. She was saying I have hope, everyone has hope, everyone does.

If I were to rewind you, my whole story of school days, there would probably be millions of mistake I made of making decisions. But as for now on, I have never regretted the fact I made those choices.

I think my words may be hard for you to understood. What I am talking about is when you reflect back your strength and yourself, you will see the weak part of you. The "flawed version" of you. It's like seeing a mirror, in a bad way.
The pride and honor you hold so much onto your strength, where like you used to succeed in doing this and that, academics, debates, sports and stuff and etc. That didn't matter anymore. That was history. The main question now is, what are you doing now. What do you have now.
And they say "In every pessimists thoughts, there was always an opportunity." I didn't get it at first, but the answer was "the chance". The chance to change. The chance to do something.

I'll tell you. The most hardest thing for one to accept is two things. Their weakness and truths. Because that's when they go through hard times. Finding for hopes and answers to their doubts.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." - Winston Churchill.

"Seseorang tidak akan merasakan kemanisan iman sehinggalah datang kepadanya ujian lalu dia bersabar dan redha." - Junaid al-Baghdadi.

"So when the time gets hard, there's no way to turn. As He promise He will be there." 

- Maher Zain.

I held my hands up and asking for strength from Him in the end. I don't know how would my past affect my future, nor how would I turn up to be an honorable man in the future. 

I finally remembered how I always said to myself, "It's not how hard or how much you can hit. But it's about how hard and how much can you take the hits." It's hard to stand up when you already fall down. It's hard to stand up when someone punches you hard until you almost got KO.

What was keeping a man to survive and succeed, was perseverance and faith. Men do not cry, they stand strong for something they believe into. That what I was taught since I was a kid. Indeed, the saying was true.

Well. That's all for today I guess. Worries and troubles that kept you reasons to live. ;) I wish for everyone to succeed in their dreams and study at the university you dreamed of. And succeed in life and afterlife. ;))

Farewell.
Asyraf Amir. 20120410.