The Fault Between Equality & Feminism.

"Men are Trash".

I am born as a male. I grew up to become a man. But did I deserve to be called "trash"?

For starters, I am able to write this long because I want the whole world to know that there is no need for us to use "men are trash" or "women are trash". No, I am not in a bitter mode and I am not having any break ups or so.

Supposed if I write this, there'll be many others who will raise up their hands and say "this is about discrimination against women". These people, they know that there'll be another group of people who'll say "not every men are trash" and they admit that the term is used against those who discriminate women. So on and so forth.

I reiterate; I support feminism, the one that promotes gender equality and against discrimination for both sexes.

Ladies & gentlemen, what are we as youth teaching the next generation about "feminism"? Do we need radical or extreme feminism?

Let's not divert the attention. Arguments are mostly coming from women who went on relationship and broke up with their partner for various reasons. Particularly young women referring to their partners as trash and saying "men are prone to cheating". Statistically, it is correct. However it should be noted that there are circumstances which the women are wrong.

When men say "women are trash", all hell breaks loose. Then, there's the question of double standard where many will start saying "it's her choice" or "she shouldn't be treated like that".

What's even more surprising is that when people use these two sentences; "men are trash" or "women are trash", we have to explain towards the masses twice about "not all men/women are trash!"

So whichever that I use "women are trash" or "men are trash", it doesn't matter because people get the part "not every men/women are trash". Is that it?

For over 100 years, our predecessors have fought against the narratives of colonialism, imperialism, patriarchy, racism, oppression and slavery of which you still see the extreme elements of these ideas are still there. The derogatory term of "negro", stereotyping races and religion and the list goes on. It is all still there.

The narrative of saying "Malays are lazy" & "Chinese are bunch of capitalists" - it is still there! And we have to sort of explain to people twice about "not all" part. I'm not going to touch on the issue for opportunists because that is another issue.

How many of you know about women's right to education? How many of you heard about women's suffrage (right to vote)? How many of you address the issue of male's rape equally to female's rape?

Does the name Emmeline Pankhurst ring a bell? Katherine Goble Johnson?

Forget about those big names. What about Shamsiah Fakeh, Aishah Ghani and Sakinah Junid? The ones who fought for equality and women's voice in politics back then in Malaysia?

Nothing. The ones we ever seriously discuss about (and still keep talking about it!) are the ones about relationships. The ones what is best about a boyfriend and girlfriend. If this keep going on, a person one day may say "feminism has lost its track from its original struggle".

I understood the evolving issues. I admit that people need to comprehend the evolving challenges which people have to adapt and troubleshoot new problems that needed newer ideas. But today, we are heading to a dangerous direction, in which a more radical or extreme ideas of feminism will be borne.

There is no doubt regarding our stance in fighting issues such as domestic abuse, underage marriage and honor killings is still rampant. In other words, the idea of extreme patriarchy persists. 

Specifying feminism solely on the issue of relationship is narrow minded. It's not to say feminism does not have a say, is not needed or does not serve its purposes. It does. In fact, it has defended several times but often the idea is sort of tainted by those who think "the world is all for themselves".

We do not need to use "women are trash" and "men are trash" narrative, then explaining to people about the "not all" context to everyone. It's a never-ending pointless debate. At times, it does not have anything to do with gender. A quarrel between a boyfriend and girlfriend; the boyfriend cheats. Heck, anyone can cheat. If it's the woman cheating, what do we call it? Women are trash? We don't need it. We treat people the same respect as how we want to be treated. We all have dignity. There is no need to public shaming a person's face over the internet. If a crime is done there, report it so justice will be served.

We have to pay attention to what values are we teaching the next generation. What shapes us as society. What needs to defended and what needs to eliminated whether it is coming from our culture and perspective.

Relationships are an opportunity for us to grow. It is a platform to learn more about life, serving you hands-on lessons where did you go wrong and what can you do right later to avoid similar mistakes in the future. If that kind of thinking does not work for you, we all know who is wrong.

For that, I rest my case.

Asyraf Amir. 20181227.