Cinquième Janvier.

Or "January 5th" in French, if you're wondering.

Monsoons, rain and thunderstorms pass by every morning here.
Once you'll see it's sunny, you'll see another hour pass by it's raining heavily. What I wanna say is, time. It passes by
so quickly that you don't even know it's "an hour later".

You just knew that, it's raining heavily already.

Same goes to my days. From last January to this December. A lot of things happened. A lot of things changed.
And I never expected these changes to be so fast.

Today marks my 21st birthdate anniversarry.
So congratulations to me. I've lived for 2 decades and a year.

 It's like seeing two different person. 

Not so much of a surprise, eh?
But yes. Thank you housemates and friends. I thought I was celebrating them alone. As usual I would buy a cake for myself and ate it when it was 0000H. Locked myself in the room because I knew my housemates were scheming something! Because I too, was doing the same kind of thing to them. Haha.
Then the next day, it wasn't so much fun knowing you have exams on your birthday. I ate dinner with my friends and went home straight. Well surprise, surprise, suprise. My housemates tied me up on a chair and pelted expired eggs and flour. The good news, I got myself a BIGGER cake. Haha.

Oh. There was coke. I sprayed at them. Technically everyone kena.

The following day, well. There was pizzas and everything. But this time, an oreo with toothpaste. I thought it was oreos and mint so technically I just ate it. But yeah thank you thank you. I guess to summarise everything up, I had a great time, a great relief after Statistics exam.
For the pizzas and cake, thank you.

I came to wonder how much does being 21 years old be in other countries.
When they say, they already know how to make life-making decisions, it comes to me of some sort of backfire.

How am doing I now, really?

I guess just fine.
It'd be nice if someday I could take my backpack and see the world all by myself. I guess that's just fine. It became
somewhat like a dream.

Well, how many of you dreamed to become pilots, lawyers, engineers or whatsoever? My last "dreams" that I'd really
wanted to be was a military officer and a pilot when I was a kid.

But there's more absurdity to that.
I wanted to become an astronaut, I thought. How many of you thought of becoming such professions that are almost entirely
impossible to become one?

Now it's some kind of memories you'd rekindle into. Because when you look into the mirror and said to yourself, "wait, I
thought I wanted to become 'pilot'." Turns out, I took political science somewhere near future. Nothing to do with
what I learn 4 years back then when there's high school physics and matriculation mathematics.

No, really. It is funny. When you thought to think about it some time.

It's like you decided to build a building where everyone can see it as a wonder. Maybe a skyscrapper like KLCC. Instead
you build some sort of hut. Where you'd say "it's good enough because it suits me". Because there's a beach nearby,
a jazz bar where you can chill out and enjoy.

Okay wow. Strong imaginations. Cut it out.

But analogically that's how I think of myself. I can't do things with numbers but things that is related to readings and
all that, I found there is a joy in learning them. Because I can relate myself to life.

People often asks, "What do you be in the near future, Amir?"
I said, "Maybe an officer. Maybe a diplomat."
In reality I'm still searching.
I wouldn't deny there's people out there already knew what they wanted to be.
But that's not the question. Life didn't ask you about "what do you wanted to be" because "you are being yourself for the
whole time". Doesn't matter if you're a student, a bar dancer, or what. You are what you are.

The question was, is and will be, "what do you wanted to do in life?"

People asks you the wrong question for the whole time ever since you were a kid.
Because I've always imagine to become a pilot who flies aeroplane.
Then an F1 engineer since I was so fascinated by fast cars.
Then what, an officer.
And then what? In the end. Pfft.
Mengarut lebih.

The question, "what do you wanted to do in life?"
My answer; "I wanted to see the world like Ibn Battuta*. Writing down wonders and journey even knowledge from travelling."

Well how do you define life?

I don't know. It's broad. It's just impossible. I can write you an endless MLA format essay with APA citations. But what
is that got to do with life. It's continuous. Something I can never put a "fullstop" except Him to myself.

Yes, some of you say I hit around the bushes many times. Using weird analogics when I explain things.
But isn't that is the purpose of writing?
To explore or know the depths of someone's thought?

I always said "Life is family, friends or anyone who you could share your warmth with."
But it doesn't really explain your part. Yourself in your own life. You missed yourself there in your very own story. See?

But yes. Friends. I really learn a lot from other people.

The main reason why I could play rugby was because of my friends from RMC who had encouraged me to play.
And also, I loved the team spirit, the bond that I couldn't find in any other sports I played in rugby.
There was no sense of hate, fights and vengence. Just pure sportsmanship, friendship and in the spirit of the game.

I also learn to be myself. To rely by myself.
I don't ask anyone to court me if they're far away even if it's my very own best friend. I won't ask anyone to hold my hands
so I'll feel confident in facing difficulties. I just hope, have faith and believe in my very own work calmly.
I'd loved to, having someone hold my hands. Any humans do.

I learned much about friendships.
You have people who come and go. You have people who changed so much and forget you in instance.
You also have people who used you as stepping stones.

To me, I just live myself way out of it. It makes me someone stronger. I don't believe in I am the only one in the world
who has been through things a lot. Because I believe out there, there's someone who is much stronger than I am right now.
With this kind of thinking, I was able to move forward and revolutionised myself.

I challenged lots of things.
I challenged people.
Last year, lecturers. Please I don't want to do it again haha.
I challenged myself and worked my way to it. It's just I have more things to discover in life.

Perhaps I could, be someone better than I used to be. Perhaps everything can be achieved.
Well, who knows?

That's all. I got an exam. If you're not counting today, it's "exams". Plural.

See you again, prince and princesses.
I am just a wanderer from Kuala Lumpur.

Asyraf Amir. 20150107.

*Ibn Battuta: An Arabic scholar, an explorer who travelled from Morroco to China, circa 1325 to 1349.  Upon returning to his home, he found out that his father died 15 years earlier, while his mother died just months ago before his arrival.