The wind outside was cold and nice. The rain was light, and the sky is grey. It was a great, good day. Morning is always calm.
I found out that I wasn't such a proficient writer as I was long ago. I don't know, I think I was solely concentrating too much of other things like work, daily life and rest. But yes I do, love writing up things and all that.
Well, what's past had passed.
I've had a couple of chocolates, coffee and started to write things again for about 2 days on the same post. And today, I renew it. I knew, screw it. Whatever. haha.
Having to go through all our days normally, would you do everything for yourself to become happy, even by knowing it's wrong? For some people, to "kill" a pain inside themselves, they inflict pain towards the others. Thus, they became happy through that way. I'm just saying things as methodology, not exactly the physical pain you inflict the others.
It can be lying.
It can be swearing.
It can just be anything that intents to hurt people.
It's sometimes hard to read other people's mind or read through what they go through. But once you really know their actions, their words, their laughs, you get to understand what their trying to achieve.
It's kind of unfortunate that people actually don't want to be in a place where they would be sad, but they took a wrong way to become happy and they did become happy for a short while. Like bad mouthing people and backstabbing. Yes, they did become happy.
For a short while.
You do know that when you tend to hurt others, the other side of you is also in pain, do you? But then looking through towards ourselves, we couldn't ask what is the ideal behavior for a such human. Anyone or everyone hurt each other.
But humans have heart, you can ask yourself, the other part of you, would like to be good or bad? Our life is full of choices. We may seem to have only one. But in fact if we explore into that choice we chose, we actually gain something, that may be valuable in our life.
Thus, happiness is born. That is the real happiness.
Love, warmth, cherish and joy with the ones you loved until you couldn't ask more, until you thank God you were alive into this world. There's many things in this world you can achieve happiness through good deeds.
When the other part of you are hurt, you don't have to lie to people, pretending to be happy and hiding behind your smile. Do you even really understood the word and the meaning of what is a real "SMILE"? I don't meant by the initials you see on facebook "what does smile means?" and those optimistic word shit came out.
You don't smile with doubts.
You don't smile just to portray you're happy
Smile isn't just for you to make yourself happy. It makes other people around you happy too. It connects other people throughout your life, remembering you in their memory because of their smile. By smiling, you actually triggered them to become happy because you're there in their life. Of what, probably who knows what could the reason be. Your crush, your lover, your family, your friends. Whatever could it be. It gives them strength.
So for what habit, do you give them fake hope and lies in order for them to be happy? Truth does hurt, but if there wasn't pain in the first place, you wouldn't call it life. Everyone goes through it, eventually it'll fade away and happiness prevails.
Lying is only a morphine for happiness. The more you're addicted, the sooner you would died out from it.
Some people, they post how sad they are by putting a smile, somewhat comparing themselves to Mona Lisa. What I see is that, it's kinda ironic, more to oxymoron. There's no reason to set it up. Happiness is happiness. Things might be hard and you might fall apart because of some unfortunate events. Failures, deaths, accidents and some things that made you even more sad.
But there will be a day where you'll get to that point. That happy point, where you would smile and become happier.
You don't have to cry. Because we're still young, there's a lot more to go in this life. So be careful for whom do we fall in love, where do we step into. Don't look and rely in the past. There's nothing over there.
It is fine if there's nobody hears your dark past.
It is fine if nobody knew where have you been and what did you do in your darkest hours of yours.
It is fine if they tell you are incompatible in the society that they think is the best.
It is fine if the one you love left you, or taken away.
It is fine if your love is left hanging there, not replied.
You are what you are. Be thankful because you hold onto your pride to become yourself. You hold that kind of honor to be stronger and raising above all occasions that one may not pass. You protect what is good to you and you honor it well to the end. You have that valor and heart to go through what might be hard for other people to go through the troubles you went. Let all those fights be rested into the novels of your life.
You don't have to fault other people, firing randomly towards the people, blaming others for your own troubles and for your unfortunate events. Fury brings nothing, but sorrow. People will remember you. Probably there's few who would remember you, but you're probably one of the few that they would be proud to know in their life.
But you gotta remember. Happiness is real. You don't have to fake it, it'll come to you.
So two days passed. Got a round of bowl with old buddies. Rode a car with the speed of light, driving like a rally car driver in KL. Went to a coffee shop, Coffee Bean and exchange some of "what up" in their life stories. It was great and fun. It was a great stress relief.
I love KL, love the CO2 gas and busy city lights. haha. ;)
"It is fine, your darkest hours are your story. It is fine if it was untold."
Asyraf Amir. 20130208.
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