25th of January. Still Going On.

Today's post is a little special. And it's a little late.
Shall we move on? haha.

25th January 2010.
I clearly remembered myself, sitting in the backseat of my father's car. He was sending me to a new school, that year. I know not what am I going to face for the following few days or weeks. What I'm pretty sure was, I was confident with what I'm doing.

The sky was blue, bright and clear.

But what I did not know, I was actually going to a dark place. But it thought me how to live with dignity, respect, honor and with pride.

I finally understood what my dad says, "Life isn't easy in the first place." Probably from what I go through here was only a quarter to his life.

I didn't love my school/college because of it's uniqueness, it's different from one another and different from any other institutions that are set in this world.

I love it because it just taught me life.

25th of January wasn't my birthday. It wasn't only a normal day. But it was a day where I start thinking where I would want to go when I'm big, where would I wanted to end up when I'm older.
And it was the day of CROWNS, my batch was born.
During that year, our name was anonymous, we were nothing. Our hearts wasn't made to steel yet, our strength weren't made the best ones yet. We didn't know each other, we came far, even to the furthest of Malaysia. What was interesting was we were more like brothers rather than close friends. Forged in only 2 years. It didn't even took to 2 years for us to get closer.

"You'll live and die together!"
That's the spirit that they wanted you to have. A sense of belonging to family. A spirit camaraderie so that you'll help your friends even if it means to risk yourself. From there, I was taught to live well with dignity, honor and pride.

What was bitter in that 2 years was that you know people from far whom had entirely different experiences of how sour their life back then. There was poor, there was mid-class and rich, but never mind that. That 2 years over there was so much more than just push ups and rolling over the field.

Life challenges was like a series of battle, a war. When you say war, it's like something you took in account with pride. You never knew to which extent you would survive. At times you wanted to cry, but I feel that my eyes was already dried from my tears. How long and how far could I go. I would not know.

Today, I asked myself. I can be proud of where I graduate, but can the place where graduate be proud of me? How much do I stand for myself right now? I did made my mistakes, but how far could I evade from making another same mistakes as I did back then?

I used to ask myself why, but I stopped because I don't want to sound like whiner. But the reason why I asked myself was to get myself build up from what I have now, to become successful, and to have dream that I used to have. I've changed. The me who you used to see in 3 years back then wasn't the same.

I missed all of you guys out there. Remember how we go through the deep jungles, beaches and all that? Life's been fun, and remembering all those moments, they're just some legendary stuff we used to have.

It's fine when people don't know what you go through throughout your whole life. What matters to you is how you stayed stronger up until now till tomorrow. Who knew what would tomorrow become of.

It's February. Time was changing so soon and fast.
If you keep clicking your eyes, you'd actually realize how fast the time was going on. Certainly it's 11 months more till December, but I always remind myself that there's more to do, there's more stuff to go.

I didn't have to remember my past. I didn't have to close my eyes and remember those bitter pasts and sweet memories. It was just too much as if it was a movie, I feel that it could win a Grammy. haha.

What I wrote here is very late. I'm currently pretty busy with my current life.
Right now I'm thinking of rebuilding my past. I'm thinking of myself, to rise from the grounds which are only rubles of my broken dreams.
All the stories of giving of, switching and finding what was suitable for me. I kinda failed to find it perfectly but, right now this is all what I got from the college that I go. These are my bets.

Until now, it's enough over here. I'll continue tomorrow. I've been thinking long what to write after 3 days, summing up the whole 2 months past.

Currently watching:

Rookies. It's inspiring. I love it.

Until tomorrow
Asyraf Amir. 20120205.