Fear & Bravado.

Hey there. It's now 0318H in the morning and I'm here writing.
Supposedly I wanted to sleep early, so I won't feel sleepy or tired the next day. But I couldn't help myself. I was constantly thinking about the future I was going to have. Actually, it's more like I couldn't fall asleep. haha.
I'll let it share to you. But it's not something sad or anything. haha.

Ever feared something like expectations? Not knowing of what's going to come out, or anything. It's something that everyone had experienced before.

Have you ever been surrounded by the people you do not know? Worse you don't know or not familiar of where you are. All and everything, everyone is so foreign to you, very new that you knew little about them. Facing a constant fear of what is going to happen to yourself is good, a sense of alertness. But too much of it could become a barrier to you, you would then have to face them.

I recalled how much awkward things I've done. That includes asking for help, giving a speech, made a mistake and whole lot more. Imagine giving a speech with nobody or so little speaks your mother tongue. That intense moment you feel inside you, that's what you called fear. Fighting your timidness. Luckily it went well, but yeah haha. I was so young, what to do. haha.
Imagine those things, but then I said it didn't matter anymore because it was part of my youth life. You do, tend to make mistakes, no matter how awkward or how wrong were you.
So much to say on top of that, you faced your own fear. Be grateful and be happy.

Not knowing anything what you are going to face feels quite unpleasant. But what keeps you alive are hopes and prayers. Those are the reasons why you should smile back and not feeling worried about it.

It's not being bravado (an act of showing fake bravery). It's not just to convince yourself you are one step closer to achieve something you wish to achieve. It's a sign you should go on and continue to live. It's a definite reason to live.

Face your fears. Admit your flaws.
If you keep running away from it, it will just came up as another trouble you ran into. Don't make it as your boundary, but your motivation to push and live on. That's what I always told myself. It never failed me to become confident as I was again. The reason is not let your weakness be as it is, but to improve it, to do your very best at the end of the day.

And it's probably because I was trained since I was young. Parts of what I wrote here is just to share.

Have a principle, in everything you do, in what you believe. You might be alone, but sticking with what you believe into and having the will to continue, believe me, your fears are gone for some time. Sometimes you have to rely on yourself for hope.
Be proud because you faced your fears alone without knowing the outcomes. Be happy of what you did and what you learned. Be grateful of what had happened to you. Who knew, of what things would come right before us.

I wonder what comes up next. I wonder what would it become, what would I become.
Asyraf Amir. 20121125.
PS: Finished in 0510H. haha.