If we are missed. Between old and new chapters.

Those brats and bunch of kiddos. We're bold, but brave. Not too dull, but smart. Bravo Company. Ah my squad, shooting competition. :)

People: How's life?
Me:Yeah it's great. Busy still.

People: Why are you here?
Me:Nah just went here to see all of you. I got holidays and nothing to do.

People: Go inside the school, the whole school is missing you.

Me: Haha you're lying man! That could never happened.

People: Nah, it's good to be missed.

Me: *Paused* (I only smiled and gave a little laugh "haha.")

Up until today I don't know there's so many people missing each other including me.

I went to visit my old school last Friday (1.7.2011).

What was on my mind after what they say was "It's good to be missed but it was never easy to say goodbye." Then I thought "I never enjoyed being missed. Because I enjoyed being with them."

My mind suddenly went blur and dazing in the past. I remember the first day I went out of this school gate for the last time, it was Friday, 2 days, before 25th of January, 2010. The day I left for my current college.

But what that person said "It's good to be missed" is something that questions on my mind. Striking with questions. What did I leave with or without regrets? Did I made the correct decision? How are they now?

But it was never right or wrong. It was what we do after, good or bad.

Melvyn: Go man, everyone's still there!

Me: Why bro? Not like I'm a student over there!

Melvyn: What the hell are you shy about? Go! You can enter!
Me: Really? No restrictions?

Melvyn: (He only nodded)

Suhaimie: (Waves his hand and telling me to come)

I went in. What was weird for a place that I served for 2 years and half is that I felt I was in a foreigner's land. It felt weird, because I once call this place my second home. Probably my heart was more to my college. I felt I'm a foreigner and I feel much not welcomed.

Everyone's face was depressed. Not sad. But probably due to packed schedule they are busy. I understood because I too am busy with packed schedule, from day to night. Night classes, joint school exploration and stuff. My god, I never thought it could be this busy haha. It just keeps me alive and awake.

I came into class, I found Wei Chong and Wei Sheng. It was weird that I didn't saw Wai Kit as he was or he would always be with Wei Chong. This time, is the first time I saw them not talking about DotA. They are talking about studies and doing a project. Of what? I don't know. Wei Chong was holding a camera. Wei Sheng was holding an umbrella and someone threw water with a basin from top floor to him. I guess they were photo-shooting.

I came across Shawn and he was like studying at this moment. It really wasn't him and I was like "Dude no way man! You're in your basketball jersey in the evenings always, right?"

Probably it's true what came to my ears that things have changed. Eunis, Cassie and Shaza was doing a database on the laptop. Shaza continued looking and reading at a paper. Him and his typical hair comb didn't changed haha. (I'm just remembering stuff, bro. Any wrong means I'm sorry. :D) I quirked "Busy much? Hey." Both was like "Oh! Hi!" and waves. Cassie was like making a weird face and it was like "What the hell is he doing here?" I didn't talked about anything because they were after the time to finish work. Maybe I came in at the wrong time or the wrong day.

I came to a pause to look for my steps, where the hell am I standing now. Shawn was of course, surprised to see me. Izzy and Suhaimie was like, "Dude, what the fuck are you doing here bro!?" We were laughing and talking like how's life and etc. Izzy is always with his long hair and walking around with a cool mood. Suhaimie is always with his steadiness. Everyone said I looked different and did not know it's "me". Is that a compliment? I don't know. haha. :)

Everyone was really busy. Tired faces are like everywhere. I didn't get a snapshot to put it on blog. In the end, I was waiting for the bus and found my best "bus" buddies. Why? I always talked with them after school in the past while waiting for the U32 and U36 bus. Joked with them the guard didn't let me enter school. Paranoid much for security? Haha, it was just memories.

Even if what revolves around the world are chaotic and full of mysteries, I found out I should worked hard because everyone just wanted to be the best. Everyone wanted to chase their dreams out. I think I'm lucky. Just lucky enough because I got friends like these people.

Either in my college, especially my squad. It's true what they say "you live and die with your squad." My batch at college or past school and everyone whom are my friends and passers by.

I just felt they put a big hope on me seeing to be someone successful.

I just did. I need to work hard that dreams can be, yes they are reality. Simply because we want it, we believe it.

This year is the last year. It's just this year I would feel my senior year. My college years will be ended here. My school life will be ended here. It's an end for my 2 years chapters in this college. It will be a book that will be remembered in my whole life.

After seeing everyone gradually changed, even at college, I felt things would eventually be a remnant. Memories would just be memories. We have to walked and pass by because nothing can be granted from the past. You can't rewrite what you have wrote on the previous page. As for today, you'll start a new one. A new page. Maybe a new chapter. As for tomorrow, you will put a full stop on the last word of your story. It then becomes a memory. That is life we live by today. Whether full of lies or truth, whether full of sorrow or cherish, it's what we breathe.

At one moment we will only stand by ourselves with no one else we knew, on a foreigner's land. No one knows us, because it's we are in a new chapter. Eventually the whole process repeats. We'll live by it. Memories are in the past, future is in the front. The present, we are here to write what we live today.

We then, begin to trust ourselves and start from zero.

"I have graduated from my college. I am successful. I'm writing for the future."

That's what I wanted to say in the next one year.

Everyone whom I know or reading this, let's work hard. It's only this year we can live our school life. It's only this year we have to try our best. And it's only this year, what determines us, for the future. And if you're not a senior, cherish it, before it's too late. :)

I am Asyraf Amir. See you soon in the next years to come, you'll see me as a military officer or a pilot later on. :)

Asyraf Amir. Saturday 2nd July 2011.